I hate being sick

By now, it would be a lot more fun if I could go hang out at some summer tournaments and leagues. Catch up with a lot of kids who are working hard and getting the attention and respect they deserve from recruiters.

Instead, this dang cold is still lingering. It's been four weeks now. Maybe I should see a doctor. That would be good. Haven't seen one in years.

It's been a sinus infection for most of those four weeks. Now it's "dropped", I guess you could say. I can feel it obstructing my throat when I swallow. Not a lot, but I feel it. Maybe it's one its way out. I haven't been achy or feeling any flu-like symptoms since the first week, which is why I figured it would fade away soon enough.

So I've kept myself from doing a lot of things, particularly where people are around, which is kind of tough. I've missed some family get-togethers, so my little baby niece and nephew are growing bigger every day and I don't see it.

I still do the mom thing and look after her every day mostly, which led my sister and I into an argument. She thinks that mom, who gave all of us this cold after coming home from her adult day care center, is still sick because of me. My sister actually thinks that the germs my mom gave me, the ones that are in me, are keeping mom sick.

Completely unreasonable. While my sister is gone most nights until 10 p.m., sometimes later, at her Melaluca meetings or whatever, I'm looking after mom. Her weak immune system (she's 81) is a major reason why she's slow to recover. But my sister and I argued anyway. It was pointless, but I couldn't back off. If her argument was valid, then why don't married couples cough each other to death? They're forced to be together no matter how sick they get, and eventually both heal up from the cold germs and get well.

For those of you who are caregivers to your parents, you know what I'm feeling. After trying your best despite the coughing and sinus congestion and overall feeling like crap, all you get for your effort is some verbal shot that it's your fault that mom is not getting better.

As if there were an alternative to the care you give.

I know I'm venting. But if you know what I mean, I'd be happy to hear from you. This just feels like a very small and isolated place.

Promise I won't cough on you.